Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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