Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
