If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
