I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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