I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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