Yo dont text me then not text me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
