Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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