hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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