That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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