Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
