I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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