She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
