sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
