You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
