So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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