To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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