STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
