Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
