turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
