BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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