i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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