70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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