if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
