I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
