Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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