Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
