return my video game
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
