..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
