i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
