Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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