Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
