My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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