I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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