Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
