I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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