"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He passed out mid-signature
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
