that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
