Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
