actually, I'm a sock model
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
