yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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