Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have aggressive nipples.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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