She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
