We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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