Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
