D3 body, D1 cock
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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