did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
