And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
