glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
