So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
