Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i out mim tonsoeep
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
