I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
