Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
