My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Even my vagina gasped.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
