I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
