thus making me awesome and them whores
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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